Hello, Again!

Um... er.... well, I was away. And my Internet hasn't been working! I've been forced not to blog against my will by hostile Teen Republicans who, after years of searching, took me captive as enemy #1!

Ugh. Forget it. I've been totally lazy and haven't updated in very near forever.

But I am here today to get back on track! The most exciting thing that has happened to me since I have been abusing and ignoring my blog has been our trip to Disney World. Considering the fact that I am not a kiddie-friendly human, nor do I enjoy waiting in lines... it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it was going to be. Huzah! There were vegan options almost everywhere we went, and I had a pretty darn good Mediterranean sandwich at Hollywood Studios. Random, huh?

Also, I heard of someone named Angie* who claimed to be a vegan. Seeing as I know her, I was siked! I'm getting tired of being a loner. Then I heard that Angie said,
"Oh yeah. I'm vegan. Like, I don't drink milk or eat eggs ALONE... but if they're in stuff, who cares?"
W T F!? Talk about a freegan! I have to ask apathetic waiters at random restaurants if that salad is vegan, and I have gotten a million billion "uuuggghhh. I'll go ask the chef"-s. Who knew you could call yourself a vegan and go about eating things that contain animal products! Gee whiz! I'm gonna go get myself a big huge grilled cheese, just because I can now. What a magical day! Give me a break. This is potentially worse than the myspace-facers that spell 'vegetarian' wrong on their "about me"s.
"ive been a vegutarien for a month. i dont eat red meat at all. i love animals alot."
While their statuses are usually something along the lines of,
**sCeNiEbEaN<333** just had lyke the best chicken stripzz EVA.
Ick. Sorry to be a pretentious beeyotch. It just hurts my soul when I see people who are phony like that, especially when it comes to something like animal rights. Am I going to rip your face off if you kill a housefly? Um, no. But please spell the word 'vegetarian' right if you're going to advertise it. Maybe Hot Topic needs to start selling some freakin' dictionaries. I bet if it had a picture of PARAMORE (omg) on it, they would buy it. Or maybe even EDWARD CULLEN (<3!).

In other (less bitchy) news, since I haven't been blogging, I've been gorging myself on crap. If it's vegan and it's full of sugar/sodium/fat, I've been eating it. I shouldn't even be hating on freegans, I've been as unhealthy as a manager of Mickey D's lately. Oreos, Taco Bell, Ramen, chips, more Taco Bell, sugary granola bars, and Taco Bell has been the staple of my diet. You know what it's time for?
*Drumroll*
A DETOX! I have been searching the granola-crunching web for a safe, healthy, organic detox and I think I have found one. A nutritionist made up this flippin' sweet detox called "The Martha's Vineyard Detox" (Umm, hello! Anything with Martha's Vineyard in it is fiiine with me) and it seems to be pretty legit. It's not psycho like Beyonce's cayenne pepper-drinking detox, and it just involves drinking herbal tea and vegetable juices (...) regularly. It's based on drinking your nutrients instead of eating them, so your body doesn't have to work as hard to absorb them. Along with drinking herbal shiz and veggies/fruits, you have to take a food-based vitamin. Check! It is supposed to really clear out the toxins in your body, as well as filter out all the crap that you dump in there from cosmetics to sodas. I'm going to continue doing research, and keep this updated. There seems to be a relationship between my health and my updating this blog... laziness, much? If anyone knows of any good ones, please let me know. tips on detoxing, lemme know!

I am getting healthy for Christmas, darnit! Then I won't feel as bad about consuming mass amounts of vegan desserts!

*name has been changed greatly